I’m writing a book everyone!!!

As many of you will know (if you’ve ever actually bothered to try and memorise any facts about me), I am a writer. Mainly I write self-help books. Not for publication though, just for myself.* Why for myself? Well have any of you ever heard the writing tip “write what you know”? Well now think about it from a reader’s perspective, and you get: read what you know”. By popping in a whole new word I have created a whole new tip! This is just one of the reasons why I only like to read what I myself have already written. The sole other reason is that I’m a very good writer/the best writer. In the world as it happens actually, 2012.


Anyway, part of me (won’t say which) has been feeling guilty (-ish) that I’ve been keeping all these sweet-as-sugar books to myself. Plus also I have been receiving a LOT of comments from people asking to read some of them.** So – TADA!!!! – I’ve decided to write one for other people. And this is the new news! :lol:

You’re going to write a self-help book for everyone to read Pattie?”




So anyway I haven’t started it or even had any thoughts about it yet (I HAVE HAD OTHER STUFF TO GET ON WITH WILL YOU GET OFF MY BACK AND STOP PESTERING ME PLEASE!) But I do know why my book is going to be:

1) better than any of the other self-help books out there

2) the only self-help book you’ll ever need

If you go into a book shop and look on the shelf,*** you will see hundreds upon millions of self-help books.**** Why are there so many? Are they not working? No. They’re not.*****

What will make mine different?****** It’ll work. And how will it work? By being so good.*******


So that’s why you should read my book! Book by Pattie! Only make sure you read it only once I’ve actually written it (do NOT try and do it before everyone. HMM?!)

Meantime I will be writing my self-help thoughts here so you can get true Pattie flavour and know every time, how to be ok in this land.


Forever yours from one to you,

Pattie :roll:


*Personal favourites include: Why do I have to be me all the time?, Who’s that Rashy Girl in the Corner?, and the survivalist misery-memoir Infancy in the Wasteland.

**Sample comments/emails: “Oh Pattie you are greatest girl I want to know you every day… what long hair… so soft…so shiny… so big… softest thing I know… and I love your hair… anyway I guess I just think you’re so fun and everything else… well anyway can I read a book please?”

*** I’m not suggesting you actually do this, most of the time you can do everything you need to do in your own house. There is actually rarely any reason for anyone to ever leave their home. Since learning how to buy cat food online, I realise I need technically need to go out ever again

****Between exactly 15 books, and a number much larger

*****But mine will

******It’s going to work

*******And really working

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