Charisma, gas meters, and creating a memorable first impression

Making a massive and memorable impact on people when you first meet them is an important social skill. A bit like chess, and maybe not always spitting quite so much. Because I rarely deal with others (I love to stay in! :) :) :) ) I make sure I go big when I do. Say I see one other human-person a month, I store up a 28 days’ worth of charisma and eye contact, and then really let it out on them. So far in my life, having just met someone for the first time, I’ve been referred to as: unique, intimating, unusual, a girl, dizzying, hugely excitable, unnerving, larger than life, unique again, very springy, Pattie, brown-haired, disconcerting, border-line, loud and extremely close. I have also only had some let their dog on me once, and I am very rarely arrested. On the occasions people haven’t given me their first impressions of me, I’ve helped them out by doing it for them! Having a list of personal first impressions of yourself to give people is very handy. Mine includes: fine, ok, alright, Pattie Brewster, not evil and could-be-worse.

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“Why the focus on first impressions Pat?”

DO NOT CALL ME PAT!!!! And if you are going to, at least apologise after!

Anyway, ignoring that interruption… The answer to your interruption is that the benefit of having a strong and positive impact on someone is that you’re far more likely to gain influence them emotionally, physically and intellectually. Forever. Really charismatic people can affect others’ thoughts, attitudes and behaviour, and some can even induce devotional responses from those they meet. That’s when you KNOW you’re in charge. I always aim to at the very minimum gain total and full control over everyone I meet.

“Sounds impressive as usual Pattie!”

Well observed. And because it’s Christmas Day today (is it? I forgot to check again), as a little present I’m providing a example for you! To show you how it’s done.

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Pattie Example – “the examples you’re allowed to know you love!”
The other day someone popped round to read the gas meter and they got a massive load of Pattie Charisma. The effect was a combination of impressive, enlightening and gas-meter-y. The black/grey text below is our conversation, transcribed after I watched back the CCTV footage.* In the colour pucey-lilac, I have also included tips on how to have charisma and make a strong social impact. Follow these steps and you’ll have gas readers everywhere, every day.

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“OH hello what do you know I’m here my name’s Pattie I’m using the door! ‘Escuse the house scent! Who are you name-wise?” 1. Be confident and assertive.

“Right, I’m er…. from British Gas, I’m here to read the meter”

“Oh a ‘meter’ or something? Hmm I get it! Sounds about right, apparently. Are you here about a meter then? Do you? Well I know all about that! My name Pattie and I know so much things,  I know all the stuff, do you like gas then? I bet you are! 2. Speak well, coherently and with clarity.

“Uh-”

“Well anyway, speaking of Pattie, I know all about a lot of the facts. I knew about: a lot of the things, some of the truth 2012, you coming in about a gas meter…” 3. Make your expertise, assets and skills be known.

“Could I come in to read it”

“I don’t KNOW! I am not magic! How should I know everything, always? I’m only a girl in this world trying to make my way! Have you met my cat Paul?” 4. Be humble. If you don’t know something – admit this.

“Uh…[pause]”

“HMMMM then?” 5. Be a great listener. Remember to listen more than you talk.

“It’ll just take a minute?”

“Good because I’ve got things to do, and the cats. I’m still waiting! I’m trying to hear you I want to know the things I am waiting and I am listening and I cannot be perfect I’m just trying to get by! I’m feeling increasingly sad about you and I don’t know how long I can cope in this life”. 6. Admit your feelings and be open and honest.

“Where is your gas meter? Could I just squeeze past?”

[At this point I was just sitting on the floor in the doorway while we chatted. He remained standing, which really showed the difference between us and our levels of confidence.] 7. Be relaxed in your stance and demeanor.

[I stood up and squared him straight in his pinky eyes for the eye contact.  A little known Pattie fact is that I can actually go between 10 seconds and 1 week without blinking! It is both intense and watery/dry.] 8. Look directly at the person you are speaking to.

“Ok mister come straight through I love the gas meter cupboard and it’s big enough for a whole man to fit in! It’s the cupboard of everyone’s dreams! You’re going to have a brilliant time in there I bet!” 9. Be enthusiastic and optimistic.

“Ok thanks”

[I showed him in, pointed out the gas meter, closed the door behind him and locked it from the outside. Instant live-in friend!] 10. Be yourself.

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Hope that helps you! See you later and forever guys! xxx Pattie :) :)

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**For anyone doubting the financial investment that is CCTV all over your property (I’m a girl that likes to spy!), this whole blog post should have changed your mind.

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