Posts Tagged ‘sad’

Positive Thinking!!!! pt. 1

If you can read these words, you can read (words) and therefore clearly have had an education. The simple act of remembering and feeling grateful for this is an example of positive thinking! If you’re not sitting on your chair crying so much right now (the tears streaming down, they’re falling… falling), well that’s something positive too! And if you’re not in a war or something else bad, then that is also positive (positive thinking)! Finally, if you aren’t engaged in an ongoing feud with some crappy new cat who won’t love you properly in the right ways all the time, then maybe could you try to think positively about that? It’s certainly clear that your life is better than mine right now. I should say at this point that I really do have it very, very tough.

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So this post is about positive thinking. Positive thinking means very carefully being positive. It’s the opposite of negative thinking, negativity, and bad.

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“Wait, so what is all this about ‘negative thinking’ Pattie?”

Negative thinking is focusing on what you don’t have (money, fame, cars, slippers, beautiful women, ok hair and garlic), as well as on the bad stuff you do have (maybe huge anxieties, crippling waves of the blues, possibly actual depression, lasting boredom, stress that paralyses you daily, and certainly: a life-long sense of dread).

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There is no doubt a lot to feel low about in this world.

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The fortunate few are the ones who haven’t actually noticed this yet. They are genuinely living without seeing the truth, and they are the dweebs already think positively. The rest of the world are called: all the other people.

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“So how do I know which type of person I am?”

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Here’s a little questionnaire to help you decide! Simply answer yes or no to the questions below, and find out once and for all if you are a positive or a negative person! :) :) :) :) :)

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  1. Are you very positive (a positive person)?
  2. Do other people think you’re a positive person?
  3. Do you think you’re a positive person?
  4. Do you not mainly think negatively?
  5. Are you not a negative man? Or a negative woman?
  6. Are you usually interpreting the world positively?
  7. Do you tend to interpret the world positively (some of these questions are the same questions)

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If you mainly answered yes: then congratulations and get lost!

If you mainly answered no, then you are dark-minded, negative and probably sad.

I am very sorry for you, and I hope you’re ok these next few days before I do my next post, in which I will solve all your problems for you, for good, for now.

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Chin up everyone!

And lots of love, Pattie xxxx

Medical update

Hey guys!!

Great news from my cool doctor!! Thought this would be an appropriate place to talk about it…

Apparently, one of the reasons why I’ve been suffering so much (in so many different ways I can’t tell you) is that I’ve never had a holiday and I really need one.

Thinking about selling my mole and woodland life collection (TONIGHT) and using the money to go somewhere (TOMORROW)!! Dunno where though!! Somewhere cool no doubt!!

If anyone has any travel recommendations, please will you let me know ASAP,,, What country would you recommend?  Here are my criterion:

1. Hot! Wanna get my arms out!

2. abroad. Full of foreign people who don’t already know me so they can’t judge

3. Cats there (any size that’s either small or big)

I’m already packed so be quick thanks.

I’m just having a sit down and a wait………

“I LOVE YOU”

Why is everyone so obsessed with the phrase “I love you”?

It’s alright. I suppose. And it is short (compare: “how do you like my new shirts, they’re brand new” or “don’t think about travelling to the Sovereign State of Brunei on the Island of Borneo, without getting at least 3-5 inoculations”).

“I love you” sure is short, but that’s not everything in a phrase!

Ok fine, another good thing – about the damned phrase (I l*ve y*u) – that it isn’t rude (and it’s certainly less rude than the rudest phrase there is, called F%$* *FF F&%!*^% F&^”%”*%!). But think about it, I like lemon sole so much :) isn’t rude either, but you don’t hear people say that much, anymore.

I can’t remember the first time I heard the words (“I love you”). Probably ages ago. Maybe at school or Sunday School or Fat Camp. Certainly not for a long while. That’s why (for me), it’s such a stupid dumb phrase. Why can’t people talk about more useful stuff instead? Like the weather or the transport or sweetest dreams and The Cuts? (BLOODY COALITION PUSH OFF!)

People need to stop rubbing it in everyone’s faces that they’re so in love, and are loved and cared for in return, and have someone to look after them and nurture them, and enjoy who they and their very existence, rather than make them feel so bad just for being around, and standing near them, or needing a hug maybe sometimes, but not getting it so they take revenge and then hate themselves and have to stay alone for ages. Too long a sentence that one, I think I lost track of where it was headed, so I’m going to stop and move onto the next paragraph.

Except I’ve finished my point! Hoo whoops!

Ok everyone shut it (your trap!) if you’re being all nauseating!!! Even if I did love anyone I know I’d be cool about it!

And thanks for reading new friends, you’re so nice, I really like you :)

Happiness (By Pattie Brewster)

Life’s ok I guess

But sometimes it can be REALLY good! Like if you find something on the street that you weren’t even looking for! Or if you hold your breath for ages and feel the tingles everywhere :)

I’ve been thinking about happiness a bit lately. And so I’m going to do one of my lists about it… (read this  list.)

Now everyone’s different (and everyone says I’m really different :) Maybe the differentist!), but this list is factual, and I’ve read over it twice, so don’t worry about it not being True or Real.

Ok Pattie’s List for true happiness, starting from now…

Don’ts

  1. Don’t have arguments. If someone’s being cr*p (crap), just cut them out of your lift FOR GOOD. However small the offense, you won’t regret the space and increase in free time (or CAT TIME). if you’re still angry, make a doll of them and get cracking with pins!
  2. Don’t let yourself get too cold before you stick your sweater on, or close the front door. Pretty cold is fun, really cold is not.
  3. Don’t go out without looking in the mirror first (specially when you’ve been up to stuff at home)
  4. Don’t tread on something fragile, just to hear the noise when it cracks. It may break
  5. Don’t do the weirdest stuff out loud!!!

Dos

  1. Do do cool stuff
  2. Do try and be fun (“WOAH HERE WE GO!!”)
  3. Do say something catchy and good every time you walk into a room with other people in it
  4. Do make that switch from VHS to DVD (probably worth it, trust me)
  5. Do find something (anything) you can cuddle, if you need to. Some will!

That’s all. Only 10 things! I thought: at least a dozen, Pattie (when I was about to start). If you have anymore leave a comment about it :)

What are your tips for happiness? I’ve done the classic 10, but there may be a couple I’ve missed out on…